Bromances and Non-toxic Masculinity

In 2011, I did a bunch of Valentines for guys to share with their best friends. A year later, that post was still the number one Google search result for “Valentine for bromance.”

It started because Bobby Valentine is a person and went from there.

All these years later, the original post is no longer the number one result on Google, but it is still on the first page. That’s not bad considering that I’ve taken occasional breaks from this blog, and that one of my biggest referrers in those days, StumbleUpon, isn’t interfacing as easily with WordPress.

It’s also worth noting just how much the conversations around masculinity have changed in the last 6 or 7 years, not to mention the conversations around gender, relationships, marriage equality, and other things I might not have been thinking about then, in my early 30s, the way I am now.  I don’t think there’s anything offensive about those older posts, nor am I contending that the “guy” things they reference can/should only be enjoyed by men. That I feel I need to say that says something, though I haven’t decided what.

To be honest, there are many things I’d probably like to say on the need for positive masculinity, and on the problems with seeing masculinity as fundamentally toxic. I’m not sure how to say them, so I’ll probably write a poem instead. Which is only ironic if you’re being toxic, but also in some ways still feels like a failure (of what, I’m not sure).

 

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